Thursday, March 5, 2009

What is Wrong with Me?

Gosh it seems like forever since I last blogged, and gosh, it seems like I start out most of my blogs in this very fashion! What is my deal? Okay, I have been in Chicago for the last 3 days for a stupid meeting all about the stupid field I'm in. I really didn't seek out computer access while there, and not having it readily available (unless I paid out 6.95 on my credit card for who knows how long on in the hotels media center), became somewhat of a respite for me.

I really find myself to be a self made slave to the computer. My job has me out in the field for most of the day, so I don't have one where I am at the computer all day. So, before I even feed my hungry critters (Casey not included in this group, he's usually still snoozing), I hop on and check email, check Facebook, check my work email, check
Then, while Casey and I are having breakfast, I go through them again. I'll shoot off a funny "wall" comment on Facebook, reply to something my boss sent a general email about, check to see if someone commented my blog.

I'm off to school and work, and then I get home about 15 minutes before Casey's bus, and what do I do? I get on and check all the aforementioned again. Wow, it's been 7 hours, and nothing new! Imagine!

Casey gets home, hops on the computer. It's his down time okay! Sue me. Suddenly he runs into the toilet, and I quietly rush over and start to check Facebook, someone has to have commented on my status by now, 'cause it's funny right?....."Mommy's on the computer!" shouts Casey as he's furiously pulling up his pants running from the bathroom, not flushing. Nobody commented on my status, and I got an email from about their latest sales....yawn.

I finally kick Casey off to persue other interests (ie Pee Wee videos, and Pee Wee videos, and oh, Pee Wee videos). I hop on once again to see all the activity that has occured in the 45 minutes since I last checked. Ha ha oh look, Rebecca commented on my status...oh look, someone sent me a green beer for St. Pats Day. Send one back? Ignore....Casey's teacher just emailed to say he had a good day. Well, that was worth stopping and checking for at least. No one has commented on my blog. Maybe because I haven't been on it for about a week. Go figure.

Yes, I am pathetic. I will say that I actually canceled my Facebook account for almost a whole week! Yes, I know, what a sacrifice. I know. I have to confess though that I did get on Bill's account, just to see if anyone commented on my sudden disappearance. There was a mild wave of curiosity, but I don't think anyone particularly cared. But, just as my dear friend predicted, I was back in less than a week! I couldn't stand it. But I have to ask, what was it that I was missing?

Is it a feeling of being connected to others? Is it being part of something that everyone else is? What is it that makes one feel that they have to constantly be checking for recognition? What I ask you, makes me give a rat's ass if someone reads my blog? I swore I was writing it for myself! It's crazy!

And so, I sit here now, writing this entry, which is pretty self deprecating and a little embarrassing. I'm guessing though very relatable? Right?.....perhaps you'd like to comment?.....I'll be checking later.....