Saturday, January 31, 2009

School, Weather, Friends and All that that Entails

I have been really bad about not keeping up on my blog. I have to confess sometimes, I get so tired of thinking about "AUTISM". I told my sister just yesterday that I am beginning to think it would be much easier to just consider Casey excessively quirky and go from there.

This whole past week was sort of a debacle at school, shouting, yelling that he farted, yelling in the bathroom, fighting me to go, and then, ultimately, getting sick Friday morning. Gee, could there have been some connection? Perhaps he didn't feel good all week?

On top of school issues, the weather has been sucky at best, cold and snowy, hard to drive in in my stupid Chevy Cobalt. But, since I have to drive for my job, I don't have much choice. Constantly telling myself "You're lucky to have a job! You're lucky to have a job!", I wallowed in self pity a little less but still did despite my attempts at "glass half full"ness.

It's always hard when your kid is sick too. I had to take a sick day (this early in the year) and worse than that, he was vomiting throughout the morning. Oddly by 11am, he was asking for computer and Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos! A quick recovery I would say, and for a moment I had to wonder if the vomiting and the sick stuff was an act, but knowing Casey doesn't quite get the fine art of "faking" yet, I suppose all the vitamins I pump into him might have put him on the mend. Oh well, it was a good excuse to hang out with him for the day, give him a break from the torture that is school, and get my laundry caught up, and I didn't have to drive!

We've had a bit of a "friend" issue as of late. I might have mentioned it in a past post but don't have the mental energy to try to reference it here, a little boy at our pool has taken a liking to Casey and wants to constantly come over to our house or have Casey come to his, which ain't happenin'! I have had to cancel out on him twice now, and I had good reasons, but I think subconsciously, I know Case has no interest in him, not because Case is Autistic, he just has no interest in this particular boy. In the past, he has had other kids that he gets interested in, and somewhat connects and I know he has it in him. But to force a friendship doesn't seem productive to me, especially considering this kid who is very controlling, argumentative, and well, I'll say it, a little bratty.

So, I envision him coming over, Casey running off to do something he WANTS to do, and this kid following me around asking questions and wanting me to play with him. NO, I'm not doing it. Why then, do I struggle with all this when I know it will be a bad situation to have him over? I guess I just want Casey to have a friend so bad, I sometimes feel like I settle for things and it never becomes anything, and this might be that very kind of situation.

Coincidentally, I watched my good friends boys the other night, one of them being Autistic and being on the same level as Case but of course having completely different, awesome attributes, and her younger being just one of the sweetest little guys I know and they all hung out. They just played around each other, and although Case didn't make a huge effort to play with either one or they him, there was parallel play, and sort of an unspoken kinship. It was fun, and I probably should have them over again, real soon.

Isn't it funny how sometimes something that you're seeking is right there in your lap but your too busy looking for it to notice!