Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Seriously, is this all there is to it?

I was tired when shower time started at around 10pm last night (yeah, I still help him, I'm an enabler, whatever). I was tired, he didn't want to leave the TV to take a shower. Bad combo.

And this conversation ensued after helping him pull off his duds and stepping into the shower....

Casey: singing "Oh yeah, thats the one, my asshole!"

Me: silence

Casey: singing again "Oh yeah, that's the one, my asshole!"

Me: still silence, helping him wash.

Casey: staring me right in the eyes "I don't get computer tomorrow?"

Me: silently looking at him

Casey: "I don't get computer tomorrow because I said a bad word!?"

Me: a silent shrug, still making sure everything was touched by soap and water.

Casey: "Say something Mommy, say some words!"he said nervously.

Me: "What do you want me to say?"

After that, total silence from him, and total cooperation.

Seriously, is that all there is to it? All I have to do is not respond to diarreha of the mouth and it will stop? Really?.... Wish I would have known this for the last several months, especially when I thought my throat was going raw from repeating the same admonishments every time he cussed.

Geeze..... More to follow.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Don't Need to Get this Guy His Own Cell!

Sure, he looks friendly enough, but I made an amazing discovery about my little boy last night that really should have been apparent all along but never really occured to me until the situation arose!

Here it is: Casey does not know how to talk on the phone to a peer and also has no desire to do so, despite the particular peer being someone he really likes!

So there it is. I don't know why I was surprised by this....

A little background and I am not going to stream through my blog to see if I had ever blogged about this 'cause you probably wouldn't remember reading it anyway, but in 4th grade Casey made a friend. His name was Jason, and they really bonded. Jason was in regular ed, but they hung out on the playground together from all accounts. He caught Casey's fancy by indulging him in commercial talk, and particularly, Geico Insurance commerical talk which was of hight interest to Case at the time.

This boy was like a ghost to me, I never met him, I couldn't find his name in the student directory. He, aluded me. Then the last day of school, while talking to another mom, I noted Casey standing and talking to this dude, and Casey literally followed the kids mom's car (not after I caught him of course) out of the parking lot. I saw the back of the kids head and that was it! So weird.

Jason goes to the same school now as Case, but it's large with many 5th and 6th grade classrooms. Casey still spoke of Jason, and I heard about him being on the playground once again with him last year. This year, not so much Jason talk although every once in awhile a commercial for the Jason G. doll is spewed out by Casey. Don't ask me where to get one, I can't find one myself!

I check my phone for messages last night after being in a store, and lo and behold, there is one. When I take a listen, it's a little boys voice asking if he could talk to Casey and how he wants to ask him about 4th grade for his homework, and maybe they could talk about Geico a little. It was Jason!!!!! Cute message, very exciting, no number was left to return his call, and no number was in my phone that he called from! Again, so weird.

I told Casey he called and let him hear his message. Casey let out one of his patronizing "Yays" that he does when he knows I'm excited and that he should be but isn't really.

Jason finally called back and wanted to ask Casey a question about what they used to talk about on the playground because he was doing a report on Casey! How sweet is that?

By this time, Casey was shoveling KFC chicken strips in his mouth and watching a Youtube video (I am such a good mom) and had absolutely no interest in speaking to Jason, so I asked him to call back in a little while.

He did. Again Casey showed no interest in speaking with him. I forced him to answer his questions a little but when it seemed some expletives were beginning to ooze from this frustrated boy, I quickly ended the conversation.

I was bummed. Casey doesn't have anyone call him, let alone someone he really likes friendwise. I was surprised at his lack of interest and irritation at talking. My sister, the OT, the treasure trove of knowledge, sweetly reminded me, as I recalled the evening to her, of his lack of social reciprocity, social awareness, blah blah blah and stuff and how not unusual it was that he wouldn't want to talk on the phone, let alone in person. I know all that, I just thought, maybe......

One good thing that came out of it, Jason's number did show up that last call, and I got it, and, and.... I don't know what I'm doing with it, but, I got it!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Work Outs and Togetherness

For the last several months, my dear hubby Bill has been taking Casey to work out at our local rec center. As you know, we've had concerns about Casey's weight, so it's only fitting that he does this.

They have quite a routine worked out, consisting of several walking laps around the indoor track, 22 minutes (to be exact) on the Eliptical machine (by far, Casey's least favorite part of the work out), and 4 running (jogging) laps to finish thing off. It's quite a regimen!

At the beginning, I always let them go alone, allowing me some alone time which is always welcomed, but better yet, some bonding time for them. I fear sometimes that they are so similar in so many ways seen and unseen, that they tend to clash occasionally, so it's always good for them to be together without me prodding in. But after my crazy thought of accompanying them on an occasion, it's almost always expected. Bill likes for me to go just for the "company" aspect since Casey isn't very chatty, and Casey likes for me to go because I think he believes I'll get him out of activities he doesn't like, but I don't. So, my alone time, has been cut....

Today we went, despite a rough morning for me after having several glasses of wine last night with friends. It was a good idea at the time. The rec center wasn't very crowded and we pretty much had the track to ourselves.

Bill and I conversed while following Casey, whose pace tends to speed up as we go. He was chatting away to the wind about a new video coming out, "A Daddy Christmas" on Oct. 24th, starring his Daddy and Casey.

We quietly joked about some of our fellow worker outers on the machines below the track, reminised about the gathering last night where I drank too much wine and how nice it was to see our friends who we hadn't seen for a while.

Bill and Casey did their running laps while I read a magazine on the stationary bike, and then together we did the eliptical, counting down the minutes till we were done.

Casey always chooses the elevator to get down to the first floor of the facility to leave, rather than the grand staircase we use at first to get up to the second floor, enough working out for sure! He doesn't grab my arm anymore like he used to on elevators, but rather, stands like he's been riding them for years without a problem.

Casey informs me that he and I both get 116 "smiley faces" for our efforts today, and Daddy only gets 1. We're not sure why but have a laugh about it. And back home we go for lunch and some luxuriating in the freedom of Saturday.

I'm starting to think not having that alone time isn't so bad.....

Thursday, October 15, 2009


Hormones are a' ragin' here at our house as of late, and other places too. At least, that is what I'd like to think.

Case in point, got a call from Casey's lovely teacher yesterday morning. When I see the school number on caller ID I'm always ready to hear that either he puked, hit someone, or cussed enough to get him thrown out of school. Happy news comes in the form of emails, never calls to the cell.

So, with a much regret I answered. She had that tone to her voice straight away that really just made me want to hang up and run. As we got through the standard greetings, she asked "Did Casey have a rough morning?". I had to think back an hour or so, and recalled that, no, he had actually had a pretty smooth morning, with laughter and good vibes all around!

"Well," she continued, "reports came from the other students on the bus that he swore, and when he arrived at school he said several curse words and laid down in the hall!".

Scratching my head, I thought to myself "Damn, the kid gets on the bus and is at school in a matter of 5 minutes if that. What the hell?".

We continued to discuss this issue, both of us as usual assuming it was someone or something giving rise to such a tantrum and not a random act of belligerence. He usually isn't random about such behaviors, and in fact, I contend many kids on the spectrum verbal or non, have reasons for such episodes.

Anyway, I requested what she had already considered, that they do some investigative work to find out what happened, what triggered him.

After interrogating some children, info surfaced that the bus driver had pulled away that morning before Casey could properly fasten his seatbelt, frustrating him to the point of cursing, and even having the kids help him get it on didn't make things better. This carried over into his arrival there, it's hard for him to let things go quickly. So, there it was, the reason. It may seem like a silly reason, or not serious enough to justify an out burst like that, but it mattered to him.

It mattered to him, and it bothered him, and I contend that his current biological state is not helping him handle things well sometimes. HORMONES! That has to be it. I swear, when the kid wakes up and seems an inch taller every week how can anyone argue?

Is there a pill for hormone control? I know they give therapies to us gals going into our middle age years, why not for kids on the spectrum who don't have the wherewithall to handle the feelings that engulf and enrage them? I need to call Dr. Oz or somebody....

Anyway, prepared today to get on the bus behind him and insure his belt was fastened before he took off to avoid yet another episode, I was pleasantly surprised. As he stepped on, I heard several children say his name in a happy manner, and one girl imparticular spoke to him as he passed her saying "Casey, sit by me!". He plopped down and she immediately helped him with his seatbelt, and he was all smiles. I stepped off the bus, smiling myself.

Hhhhmmm, just like a baby who cries to get attention because he needs something, Casey's outburst could certainly fall in the same vein. He got what he needed apparently, some direction and help. We just need to teach him he can get that without using the "f" word!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I Take it Back... A Little......

Quite a while back I went on a rant about how much I hated Youtube because we felt it was probably the leading expletive inducer for Casey next to our own potty mouths. Plus, it's just disturbing how a child can put in a search for "Blue Clues" video snippits and they could suddenly be seeing "Blue Balls" video snippits..... Just really inapropriate.

Anyhoot, he still plays Youtube sometimes, but never without my ever listening ears and watchful gaze in the vicinity. He does pretty well censoring what he sees, with only the occasional cuss word blasting over the airways, quickly cut off by a giggling boy.

He has his own account that I allow him to put videos on, mostly for his own entertainment but to share with family and friends as well so it's public. If you are unfamiliar with Youtube, let me explain that there is a forum after each video posted that allows viewers to comment on the video they have just watched. We have recieved, of course, snotty, obnoxious, and rude comments as you can well imagine because it seems there are a group of people out there who watch boring little videos made by children and then rake them over the coals. An admirable way to spend your time right!? But, we just delete the nasty comments and move on.

I have read comments of some of the videos Casey watches, not his own, and people write horrible things sometimes, just about say, a Wiggles Video. I beg him not to read the comments, afraid of what he'll pick up even there.

So, this morning, while checking email, I noted that we recieved 2 emails from Youtube, and I almost didn't read them. I don't know if it's how we have our account set up or what but when someone comments on one of Casey's videos, they get sent to our email.

Thinking that they might be nice comments I could show Casey, I opened the first and it read....

SBloxLines has replied to your comment on Oobi DVR challenge:
They still play it, If you have DISH It's on 169 at 12:00 and 12:30 (PM) Sometimes 5:00 AM Also.
You can reply back by visiting the comments page.

"Replied back?" I almost said out loud. That would mean that someone in our house had commented on someone else's video. Bill would never comment on an Oobi video, it's a kid thing, no interest, and well, I just don't care. So I clicked on this video of SBloxLines and skimmed down the commments section, suddenly eyeing one from our account, named Billboncasey, that read:

what happen to noggin?

Casey had taken it upon himself to comment. A little background, this Oobi was a show on a network for kids named "Noggin" and they dropped "Noggin" and call it Nick Jr. now, much, much, much to Casey's dismay. He has been asking me about this for a couple of days, why it changed, why it isn't Noggin anymore, and now, he was seeking out info on Youtube! So cute. And this fellow nerd, SBloxLines, replied to tell him where he could still find Noggin being broadcast! Too funny!

The next email was from the same person and again was a reply to a comment, made by Casey himself...

SSBloxLines has replied to your comment on Oobi Short Program Promo (Commercial) for Babies and Toddlers:
And PBS Kids. (Noggin = 169 DISH | PBS Kids = 13 DISH
You can reply back by visiting the comments page.

Yet another reference to where he could find this Noggin channel still. Being nosey once again, I went back to this person's other video Casey clearly watched and skimmed the comments only to find....

1999-2000 the good old days of noggin huh?

Casey wrote that comment! Casey referenced the year it was from and typed out a nostalgic thought he had on it! I was floored. I know this was a long post to get to this but really, finding out he commented in this fashion, and that he commented at all made me almost cry, it really did.

I hope this post made sense, and I hope you understand why I posted about it, Yet another one of those instances where even the smallest cool thing seems huge in your head, especially when you are dealing with challenges day in and day out. That just made my day.......