Thursday, September 3, 2009

When Did My Kid get So GROSS?

Again, when did my kid get so gross? All these new things are starting to happen and I want to know why all the sudden like? Oh wait, puberty? He's not even 11 years old.... But I did discover just recently underarm hair as previously mentioned which disturbed me to no end so it could be.

I mean, when did it become okay to shout "I let out a fart!" on our bike ride while a woman is walking by, right in earshot. When did it become fun to lay in bed without one's pants on doing who knows what under the blankies? How is it suddenly fascinating and necessary to touch various parts of one's body and smell your finger afterwards, discreetly you think, but it's not. Why does one become deaf when picking one's nose out in public, total oblivious, or so I think, to my reprimands? Why would one feel it's okay to kinda push one's self against someone inappropriately during an innocent hug?

I know, I know, he has Autism, he's getting hormonal, expect it. I also know that these are things "Neuro-typical" boys do or want to do too, I think, but just have a conscience or a little voice in their head or something that tells them to not! Or at least, be discreet, please.

Where can I buy that voice? Can I inject a conscience into his brain? Anyone got a good sexuality book to suggest? Is it too late for a cocktail? It's 8:46pm, I think it's the perfect time for a cocktail!


Rebecca said...

Amen! Boys are gross. Love this one, which I've observed in my own gross little guy:

How is it suddenly fascinating and necessary to touch various parts of one's body and smell your finger afterwards, discreetly you think, but it's not.

Bon, I totally heard your voice saying that. LOL.

kristina said...

Mine has hairy feet too, and has officially reached the age when he'd just rather skip the shower. 3 days in a row at one point this summer and I had to insist!

SeaThreePeeO said...

We're going or have been going through this for a while with my daughter Ana. She suffers from precoious puberty, which means she started getting underarm hair etc arounf the age of 5-6.

Recently at the age of 11 her mood swings have been become unpredictable and uncontrollable. At the moment we're looking at the options open to us, but there's not many.

We hope one day to come out the other side relatively unscathed!

mama edge said...

There must be an app for this, right?

Then again, I do think that grossness is just a part of becoming a man (e.g. is there a male on the planet who doesn't delight in saying "Pull my finger" so he can pass gas on cue?)

DJ said...

To paraphrase Rick James, testosterone is a helluva drug. I suggest keeping your flask filled and with you at all times so you can calm your nerves in public. Good luck.

~Mama Skates~ said...

i feel ya girl! let me know when u find where 2 purchase that voice!

DJ Kirkby said...

There are lots of books you can get though I can't reccomend one in particular. We are trying to instill in N3S (6 1/2 years) the 'somethings you only do in private' way of thinking now so when he does hit puberty we won't go through this. We hope. Though it doesn't wrok that great as when we replaced N2S's (17 1/2 years) mattress recently we discovered a mag and tissues under it, both dirty. Now that is GROSS!

claire p said...

It's a man thing. Like you say they'd all do it if they could!! Think of me in about six years time when it all begins for us!

Miz Kizzle said...

Here's what you do: find an attractive teenage girl and hire her to "help" you around the house. She can dust the bookshelves or alphabetize the spices or whatever, just to she's a visible presence.
I guarantee the gross behavior will decline precipitously, although he may start wearing a lot of cologne and combing his hair a lot.