Saturday, January 31, 2009

School, Weather, Friends and All that that Entails


I have been really bad about not keeping up on my blog. I have to confess sometimes, I get so tired of thinking about "AUTISM". I told my sister just yesterday that I am beginning to think it would be much easier to just consider Casey excessively quirky and go from there.

This whole past week was sort of a debacle at school, shouting, yelling that he farted, yelling in the bathroom, fighting me to go, and then, ultimately, getting sick Friday morning. Gee, could there have been some connection? Perhaps he didn't feel good all week?

On top of school issues, the weather has been sucky at best, cold and snowy, hard to drive in in my stupid Chevy Cobalt. But, since I have to drive for my job, I don't have much choice. Constantly telling myself "You're lucky to have a job! You're lucky to have a job!", I wallowed in self pity a little less but still did despite my attempts at "glass half full"ness.

It's always hard when your kid is sick too. I had to take a sick day (this early in the year) and worse than that, he was vomiting throughout the morning. Oddly by 11am, he was asking for computer and Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos! A quick recovery I would say, and for a moment I had to wonder if the vomiting and the sick stuff was an act, but knowing Casey doesn't quite get the fine art of "faking" yet, I suppose all the vitamins I pump into him might have put him on the mend. Oh well, it was a good excuse to hang out with him for the day, give him a break from the torture that is school, and get my laundry caught up, and I didn't have to drive!

We've had a bit of a "friend" issue as of late. I might have mentioned it in a past post but don't have the mental energy to try to reference it here, a little boy at our pool has taken a liking to Casey and wants to constantly come over to our house or have Casey come to his, which ain't happenin'! I have had to cancel out on him twice now, and I had good reasons, but I think subconsciously, I know Case has no interest in him, not because Case is Autistic, he just has no interest in this particular boy. In the past, he has had other kids that he gets interested in, and somewhat connects and I know he has it in him. But to force a friendship doesn't seem productive to me, especially considering this kid who is very controlling, argumentative, and well, I'll say it, a little bratty.

So, I envision him coming over, Casey running off to do something he WANTS to do, and this kid following me around asking questions and wanting me to play with him. NO, I'm not doing it. Why then, do I struggle with all this when I know it will be a bad situation to have him over? I guess I just want Casey to have a friend so bad, I sometimes feel like I settle for things and it never becomes anything, and this might be that very kind of situation.

Coincidentally, I watched my good friends boys the other night, one of them being Autistic and being on the same level as Case but of course having completely different, awesome attributes, and her younger being just one of the sweetest little guys I know and they all hung out. They just played around each other, and although Case didn't make a huge effort to play with either one or they him, there was parallel play, and sort of an unspoken kinship. It was fun, and I probably should have them over again, real soon.

Isn't it funny how sometimes something that you're seeking is right there in your lap but your too busy looking for it to notice!

7 comments:

Rebecca said...

Even though this was sort of a repeat for me, I enjoyed the blog, and I really like that picture of Mr. Personality at the top! Friendship is hard. You know what they say: You can pick your kids' noses but not their friends. OK, I don't know if they say that, but they should.

Your friend,

rk

kristi said...

Hope Mr. Casey is feeling better! The weather in TX is so back and forth that TC has been having horrible asthma all week. Lots of tears and fits too.

Em said...

Sorry your week has been so tough. And I totally get it about having enough of autism. Sometimes I just have to have a vacation from thinking about it, reading about it, dealing with teachers about it, etc, etc. But those vacations really don't happen very often.

And I'm with you on the friendship...you can't force it. If that kid doesn't seem like a good match, don't let it happen. Our kids on the spectrum are rarely able to reach outside their comfort level in social situations, so why start something that you know won't end well.

Mama Mara said...

I often wonder what life would have been like if my son Rocky had been born 25 years ago. He probably would not have been diagnosed, instead being labeled, at best, quirky, and at worst, weird, tactless, lazy, obstinate, underachieving, etc etc etc.

Your comment about seeing another kid on the spectrum whose "attributes" seem totally awesome -- totally get it! What's funny is that I'd wager those "attributes" are the very thing driving that kid's mom crazy.

Great post.

DJ Kirkby said...

I always feel a bit odd reading your blog as it is such a mirror of my own life. N3S has been quite teary all week and I can't imagine it is going to get any better now that it is a new school week.

claire p said...

Sorry you've had a bad week. Jamie takes little or no notice of other children. I'm hopeing he will in time. And so will Casey. Suddenly it'll click. SO often Jamie had ignored something for ages and then taken to it as a favorite. We have snow now too, the country had ground to a halt!!

kristina said...

We had a tough week last too. That's happened with Charlie where there'll be a day (days) of behaviors and then we all realize, he's been coming down with a cold (duh). Hope this week is better---I always really appreciate those unexpected "mom 'n' boy" days.