Monday, September 29, 2008

Indulge Me if You Will...Part Trois (that's 3 in fancy French) A Sister's Perspective

Here we go again. An actual account of the miracle of birth as seen through the eyes of a loving, humble, and sweet older sister. She has a filthy potty mouth and tells it like it is, so consider yourself warned. Some words even had to be "edited" to protect some of my really good Christian friends from being too offended. If you think Bill's contribution was gross and hardcore, then get ready for this beauty! She of course supplied the photo because it's a good one of her, so I included it! Go ahead Sue.....

O.K. since Bill put on his "Guy" hat to share his thoughts of that long night, I am putting on my "Sister" hat to share with you the pain that Bonnie endured for 24 horrible hours. I am not a writer or an editor like some of us in the family but I am damn funny so hopefully you will enjoy my recollection of that long night.

The day started out comfortable for everyone, somewhat joking a little amongst the three of us and talking nicely with the nurses and doctors who at the time seemed like nice people who would give you anything you wanted if you would just ask for it. The first few hours went by pretty quickly, Bill and I taking turns sitting in the old, leather chair that squeaked very loudly each time you sat in it. We thought Bonnie might let one of us lay on the bed since we ended up being there for 24 hours and we were somewhat tired of talking positive to her ass all night, but no she never offered.

The hours went by and each hour she grew more and more uncomfortable so I spent a lot of time in front of the nurses station demanding that they give her something or come rub her feet, or back etc. I think at one point, I heard the nurses bad mouthing me as they smiled when I walked away. Hey, she's my little sister and I don't want to see her in pain,,,,,although better her than me, I'm not the one who went and got knocked up.

Anyway, the next morning she finally started to dilate and there was hope that we were going to see this little miracle sometime soon. Well, not so fast. You know how you hear of these women popping the baby right out within an hour of their arrival to the hospital, well that's a bunch of bull and those women are not real women. I think all women should go through 24 hours of pure misery, makes you appreciate the whole process more.

From 6:00AM to about 11:00AM Bill and I stood at the side of the bed looking at a little round mirror that encompassed a t#$* and a tiny little crown of a head, maybe two inches. The funniest comment of the day was when Bonnie said to me, "OK, you can look at my crotch to see if he is coming out", well OK thanks Bonnie, I've been looking at your damn crotch for about three hours now and I don't see a baby just yet. Even though there are four girls in our family, we are all very modest so this crotch thing was a little uncomfortable at first for both Bonnie and I however, when there is a baby involved you seem to forget that you are looking at your sister's t&*^.

If I could just back up for a second, I promised my "little" sister that when the time came I would make sure she got her epidural. Well, the time had come and she was in so much pain which was breaking my heart. What do big sisters do? Well, they go find any nurse or doctor and scream at them until they bring the epidural.
Unfortunately as Bill mentioned, there was a C-section going on in the room next to us but who gives a shit, my sister is in pain. I ran out in the hallway (well, I actually walked) and I saw a gurney covered in blood and the doctor was in the room with a team of people. I yelled, MY SISTER NEEDS AN EPIDURAL! Almost like an outburst like Casey does when he really wants something.
The doctor came out and yelled ma'am, we have an emergency in the other room!
" I don't give a shit, my sister needs an epidural! Besides, I promised her and when you make a promise to your little sister you can't let her down.
Well, no one came in to give her the epidural and she had already dilated to the point where she could not have one anyway. WOW, I felt like such a failure.
So, Bill and I became cheerleaders and heavy breathers and continued to watch the little mirror that finally started to change and then low and behold out came ET!
The longest little body with long skinny fingers and long toes, but the cutest most precious baby in the whole world. As they cleaned him off and we got a closer look, it was BONNIE! The I looked again and it was BILL! A little of both of the proud parents, he was adorable!
Well, my duties did not end there. My Mom and sister were on their way up from Indiana and had just about arrived to the hospital when I noticed that there was a lot of blood all over the floor of Bonnie's room. My mom is a big wimp and cannot handle seeing her kids in pain or give birth for that matter so ole sister Sue begins mopping up the blood so my Mom doesn't have to see it when she enters the room. Cause you know when women give birth there is no blood or pain, right?
So, that is my story of the day when Casey was born and I would not have missed it for the world.

Very good Sue! Well done for your first blogging attempt! I hope you liked it too and please feel free to comment so she can see what people think about her style! ....I may have to change my policy on guest bloggers, geez.....