Friday, August 22, 2008

What's the Big Deal Ladies?

I have scads of stuff to write about don't feel like I have had adequate time enough to write one of my adequately written entries. But this same subject matter came up today whilst out and about and I thought I would write a "quickie".

We were at a popular fast food establishment today, when Casey of course announced he had to use the bathroom right as we situated ourselves at the table, food in hand. This wouldn't be frustrating if I had a typical 9 year old boy, I'd tell him "Go, and don't talk to strangers in there" having a feeling of confidence that he would go in, do what males do at the urinal, do what males do after they use the urinal, and return to lunch.

BUT, Casey is not a typical boy of 9, and there are many reasons that I can't let him go by himself, and especially not into a men's restroom. I will state them now in numercial order but not necessarily in order of importance:

1. Sometimes, he forgets to shut the door and lock it after he goes into the stall, and just starts using the toilet. That can be disturbing to walk in on.
2. If he were in a boy's room, and he would use a urinal, he would pull his pants down all the way, as he has yet to master the art of just letting what matters at the time hang out inconspiculously, or as inconspiculously as a guy should when he's peeing.
3. He lingers in the bathroom, sometimes touching things he shouldn't, talking to himself, doing toilet paper commercials. He needs prompting for sure to finish up and get out.
4. If for some reason he has to do more than no. 1, he needs help there to, there's just no getting around it right now, so I can't imagine what would occur if he did, and not one was there.
5. I don't even need to go into all the weirdos that could be in there.

Ok, now having said all this, I have to admit that the little bit of inconvenience it causes is really not a big problem when we're alone. My biggest problem with having to take him into the woman's room are the glares and looks that range from shock, to horror, to irritatingly so, surprise from the broads in the bathroom. They act as if a grown man walked in. They act offended, put off somehow. That happened today as we were going in, and some little old gal was scooting out. She literally huffed as we came in, despite the fact that she was done with her business in the bathroom. What did she care?

I get it ladies, I know, it's the Ladies Room. He's tall, he looks older, he looks like traditionally, he shouldn't be in a woman's bathroom. But, he also displays odd behaviour as I've gone over in past posts. He has a funny gate, he usually is holding his hands in a squeeze or by his ears, or by his junk if in fact he has to pee really bad. Doesn't that just give some women a clue that he might be someone who needs assistance?

And other than just that weird imaginary barrier that all of us have set up in our minds that boys don't go in the girls room and girls don't go in the boys room or we'll die, what is the big deal over me bringing him in? I have yet to spot nudity out in the open in the bathroom. I haven't had to cover his eyes as a woman comes out of a stall with pants still down or anything like that! I haven't caught him peeking under the partitions, and if I did, it would be stopped right then and there. He doesn't walk in on anyone, their doors are always tightly locked.

Could they be threatened while he is washing his hands and they are applying their liptsick, or fluffing their hair? Are they afraid that he might discover some secret privy only to the girl's room that must never get out to the male population? If so, I'm in the dark too on that one, which isn't unusual in general for me. I'm completely at a loss of acceptance for this behavior by my fellow women. I don't get it, and if I put myself in their place, I could honestly say that I would be much more understanding than many have been. I wanna scream out "He's not looking at you!!!! He needs help going to the bathroom! Get over yourself!".

So, other than bringing his dad along everywhere we go or adopting a big brother, I'm not sure this phenomenon will end as long as I have to take him to the john. I guess I have to give my self a time table for when I think it will be ok for him to go into the men's room on his own.

Ok, when he is at least 5'10, 150 lbs, and able to keep his butt in his pants while using the urinal. Whatever comes first. (Hopefully the butt thing!)