Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Top 10 Reason I'm not the World's Worst Mom

My dearest friend alerted me this morning to a blog entry that she completely enjoyed and felt I would feel the same. And I did. It's over here at Good Enough Mama and I highly encourage you to read it. I'm going to take Mama up on her challenge and think of the top 10 reasons I'm not the world's worst mother, despite the fact that I've bestowed that title on myself daily! I think this will be very cathartic for me to consider, and might even make me change my title to, "Almost World's Worst Mother".

So, here are the top 10 reason why I am not "THE WORLD'S WORST MOTHER!

1. Ok, number one. Well, I always ask for them to put half water, and half pop in Casey's drinks at the restaurant, that way, it takes 2 glasses of whatever it is to get him acting crazy on sugar.

2. I use only natural household cleaning items and natural skincare stuff on him despite the fact that I let him eat way too much fast food.

3. I make sure every morning I wet down his bed head and spritz his bangs over to the side so he has some semblance of coolness in his world of naturally being cute but goofy.

4. Going back to letting him have too much fast food, I do provide him with substantial vitamins after eating, so that I feel better.

5. Whenever I cuss around him, I always make sure to tell him how bad mommy is bad for doing so, but that only adults can cuss.

6. Then, when he does because he doesn't care if only adults can cuss, I always tell him he can only do it at home, so he won't get in trouble at school, or so we won't receive any dirty looks out in public.

8. I always tell him not to touch the locker room floor at the rec center and clear away from the toilet as soon as he has voided. Germs frighten me.

9. I never talk badly about his father too severely in front of him in times of anger, and I definitely have stopped calling daddy a "fuckhead" when Casey is in earshot. That can be a fun name to call someone....Casey thought one time.

and drumrolllllllllllll

10. I am not the worst mother in the world because I buy organic chocolate chip cookies that cost $5.00 so that when he eats 6 of them a day, I know he's not getting high fructose corn syrup, but PURE CANE SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you, thank you.

You know, this has been very therapeutic. I'm not bad!


The Girls said...

Love, love, love this list. I have seen these acts of sainthood in person and know them to be true. Now blog on over to WW Not for the Weak and speak!

kia (good enough mama) said...

NOpe, you're not bad. Not bad at all. :)

oh man! that profile pic in the comment above mine is HIGHlarious!

EC said...

I'm having a late breakfast here in Oz. Your number 9 comment cracked me up so much I nearly spat weetbix on my computer!

Number 10 was pretty funny too. Like Kia said, not bad at all. You're a Mum who rocks Bonnie :)

Marla said...

Too cute. You are certainly a good mama!

Mama Mara said...

I am totally going to be one of those annoying friends of yours who copies everything you do so I can be half as cool as you. Watch out boys: Mama Mara has a hair spritzer, organic cookies, and weak soda for you!!!

Osh said...

I've been thinking of my list for awhile. So far all I've come up with is

1. The one time I spanked Evan I felt so bad I put a bag of frozen peas on his butt to prevent bruising and cried with him. Does that count? Or should I just go with "I have kept him alive"?

DJ Kirkby said...

I can't describe how much I enjoyed this post! And how much I relate to almost every single item on it! Espescialy the 'your birth father is a fuckhead' one...
wow...I do the wetting his bed head down too and boy do I get told off for that and he is only me, what will he be like when he is a teenager? xo

autismfamily said...

Nice list you compiled. I use pure cane sugar with cinnamon for toast all the time and let my nonverbal son share a slice.