Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Are You Kidding Me?

I'm at the library right now, killing time while Casey plays games on the library computers. He really shouldn't be playing the computer. At least I told his teacher that I wouldn't allow him to play on the computer today. Bet your wondering why, and why he's playing if I said that!?

Well, his teacher calls today, and after some polite small talk, tells me that there was a "situation" at school today. Her voice sounded grave, grave enough to cause me to have sudden images of Casey pooping on the floor (not something he does normally, on purpose) or Casey knocking someone over, or Casey screaming F*&^ so loud, the whole school heard it.

She explained that they were bringing that new para in that I talked about here, and she was going down with him and the regular para to science. As explained to me, he was following them (hhhhmmm, thought they were supposed to be shadowing him, hhhhhmmmm)when suddenly, and hold on to your hats...I hope you can handle this one....take a deep breath...


That's right, he went into the girl's bathroom! Can you believe this? Stifling my laughter (and all you Autism moms know what I'm talking about, and if you don't, don't read my blog, you're uptight), I continued to listen. Apparantly, his sudden appearance in the girl's room caused quite a stir! All the girls started shouting "Casey (apparantly, everyone knows Casey), you can't be in here, get out!". HORRORS! His regular para rushed in and found him jumping and stimming and laughing (call juvenile detention!). He apparantly would not leave when asked, causing his para to report to the teacher that he was being obstinate. I personally think, know, that he was reacting to the rise he got out of the chicks in the bathroom.

Well, after they finally got to science, he didn't do so well, probably anticipating the punishment he was going to get when he got back to class. And indeed, he did, the teacher reported, lose computer time, and Coke! Needless to say he was upset.

When asked why he went into the girl's room, he said simply "I wasn't paying attention.". It's as easy as that. His teacher tended to want to believe him which was cool, and I did believe him. I was then interrogated by the teacher concerning whether I let him use the Ladies Room on a regular basis.

I don't like being questioned about things like this by someone who doesn't have a kid with a disability. In fact, I'm pretty sure anyone with a kid with a disability would never question such a thing. Of course I take him in the Ladies room when we're dadless (when Bill is with us, it's all boys room and urinals and whatever boys do in there). Would I let a 4 year old go into the men's room by himself? NO, and that's about Casey's bathroom mentality at this point in time. I think I covered all his habits here awhile back. There's no way I would let him go alone into a men's restroom with no way of helping him or wrangling him in, short of covering my eyes and making a mad dash past guys at the urinals. On top of those issues, how do I know some freak wouldn't follow him into the stall. I don't, and that's that.

So, to wrap this too long story up, I finally concurred with the teacher that this was indeed an inappropriate act, and that we would carry through with the punishment at home, and do a social story about it, blah blah blah....

But the more I thought about it, as much as it is his fault, and he shouldn't have done it, it's also their fault for not walking with him. And so I decided he will be punished by not playing the computer at home....the library is another story....hee hee

Please don't think I'm taking this all too lightly, I really don't like that he did what he did, but my God, there could be much worse things. It was cute by the way when I asked him what he saw when he went in there. "Girls washing their hands!". Of course.

On the flipside, we went for a well needed haircut and he did awesome. Five years ago, I had to strangle hold him while tears, saliva, and hair covered his face and mine, and I always felt like we both needed strong medication when we were done. This time, as in the past few recently, he sat straight, scrunched his shoulders only a little, and was just really good. See, for all you mamas of the little ones with Autism, there is hope!


Osh said...

(sarcasm font)

I just love it when other people without children (especially autistic children) tell me how to raise my child, dont you?


hooray for the haircut!

kristi said...

OMG!! Are you kidding me?? I would have said, "Give me a break,lady."

Maddy said...

This isn't one upmanship, but I'll know you'll get it, and I've not blogged it......

My daughter [5th grade] is in the same school as the boys. I swear she has spies all over the school who report back to her. She then reports back to me, so maybe it's not so bad.

Anyway, her pals were horrified [they were boys] to find her little brother in the bathroom, the boys bathroom, with the door open, as he had removed his clothing in order to perform and was therefore on display to the entire play yard.

To be fair I think she was horror struck because her friends were horror struck. It's not as if it's not anything she hasn't seen before. We shall attempt conform to other people's social norms in the near future [ish]

marie said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. My son and I spend a lot of time at the library to.

Rebecca said...

Hooray for Casey's haircut! Five years ago in the midst of that strangle hold, would you have ever thought it would get this easy? Like you said, it gives you hope. Nice work to both of you (and I don't think his bangs look too short).

Did you happen to ask the teacher why the paras weren't following Casey instead of the other way around? They could have prevented this whole thing from the start if they were behind rather than in front. I'd definitely follow up on that. Sheesh.

echotig8 said...

Sounds like the Paras fault to me! Take away her Coke!!

Bobbi said...

My goodness, what a strong reaction from that lady for such a minor thing. I'm sure it was just a mistake on his part. In my experience, kids with autism don't lie much. WTG Mom for not making a big deal out of it. If you do, he might think it's something fun to do more of. I think you handled it great. Thanks for the words about the haircuts. I will be so glad when Parker doesn't cry through one, though he cries less each time. We always make sure we have a prize afterwards, so it makes it a little easier for him to take.

rainbowmummy said...

Hooray for the hair cut, and the school "issue", a memeber of staff who was esscorting Casey didn't do their job and I think that they have tried to make it your fault to keep them out of trouble. Ugh.